“As an expat, I miss a sense of belonging in this country and I yarn for it” she said.
Almost everyone living in another country or culture feels this way. After all we humans with the primary urge to belong.
A tale of two countries
Imagine a country of ‘red dots’ and a country consisting of ‘yellow squares’. A few ‘red dots’ leave their country and goes, as expats, to the country of the ‘yellow squares’ to live for a couple of years or longer. The ‘dots’ pick up a few cultural habits of the ‘squares’ and combines it with their own from back home (red dots). Such as the punctuality of time is picked up by people who come from a flexible time culture.
Enriched
Slowly and unawares, the ‘red dots’ assume an oval form and become purple in colour due to the mix of culture. These ‘purple ovals’ are now ‘enriched’ due to their exposure to the new culture and attaining a broader view on life and people. Mind you, they are not superior nor inferiors to the dots or squares, but just ‘enriched’ in experience.
Fitting in
Now, if the ‘purple oval’ was to go back to his country of dots, he will realise that he does not completely fit because he is no longer a dot and with the oval form it cannot fit into the world of the square either.
Does this mean that you will never belong?
Well the answers I give to my clients are, look around you for other ‘ovals’, for there are a lot of ‘ovals’ in the world, only their colour maybe different, due to diversity in culture mix and perspective, but they are definitely ‘enriched’ and ‘oval’. Here, among the ‘ovals’ you may find ‘like minds’ that you are looking for and regain the ’sense of belonging’.
Mind you, all ‘ovals’ are also unique but there may be a certain level of similarity in thought as well as actions.
Now, if the ‘purple oval’ was to go back to his country of dots, he will realise that he does not completely fit because he is no longer a dot and with the oval form it cannot fit into the world of the square either.
Does this mean you will never belong?
Well the answers I give to my clients are, look around you for other ‘ovals’, for there are a lot of ‘ovals’ in the world, only their colour maybe different, due to diversity in culture mix and perspective, but they are definitely ‘enriched’ and ‘oval’. Here, among the ‘ovals’ you may find ‘like minds’ that you are looking for and regain the ’sense of belonging’.
Mind you, all ‘ovals’ are also unique but there may be a certain level of similarity in thought as well as actions.
‘Squares’ and ‘dots’
Does that mean that ‘squares’ and ‘dots’ will never mix? Diversity is a fact that provides a healthy challenge. But when it come to a ‘sense of belonging’, my experience is that you will definitely find a set of ovals where you may feel that you belong.
Are you an ‘oval’?
I wish all ‘ovals’, who are also looking for the ‘sense of belonging’ success. If you are an ‘oval’ then I would like to invite you to share your experience so you can help others too.
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